Bound by Shadows (Kissed by Shadows Series, Book 2) Page 4

  Strangely, Saudia is the next one in my room. There’s no sign of Tracey.

  “How are you doing?” Saudia asks gently as she takes the chair that’s still positioned beside my bed as though I’m a patient in a hospital.

  I suddenly feel guilty about what I saw, as though I was spying on her or something.

  “I saw you,” I blurt out, ignoring her question.

  “Saw me what?” she asks, looking puzzled.

  “You and Tracey. Kissing.”

  She sighs. “Please don’t give me a lecture,” she says.

  “I’m not going to,” I reply. “I just wanted you to know. I guess it felt weird, like I’d been spying on you or something. But you were right outside my window and… ”

  I said I wasn’t going to give her a lecture and I hope what I say next doesn’t come across as one.

  “Is it a good idea? Getting back with Tracey I mean? She hurt you bad, Saudia.”

  “She did,” Saudia agrees, “but she’s changed. And well, I love her.”

  “No one ever changes. They just fool you into thinking they have,” I say.

  “I thought you weren’t going to lecture me,” Saudia says coolly.

  “I’m just trying to help you. You’re going to let her fool and hurt you again. Why would you put yourself through that?”

  “That’s rich coming from the girl who fell in love with an actual demon,” Saudia shoots back.

  “I did. I was stupid. And I’m trying to stop you from making the same mistakes as I did. People don’t change. Tracey won’t change.”

  I can hear the bitterness in my voice as I speak. I don’t even know Tracey. Maybe she has changed. Maybe some people can change and Kane didn’t feel strongly enough about me to be one of them.

  “Look, I don’t think you’re in any position to be giving out advice about love,” Saudia snaps.

  “Why? Because I’m the living proof of what happens when you put your faith in the wrong person? Because you can see what you’ll become?”

  Saudia stands up.

  “I think I’ve heard enough. I hope you feel better, Atlas.”

  With that, she leaves. The second the door shuts, I regret what I’ve said. I wasn’t even talking about her and Tracey, not really. I was talking about Kane and me, and I’ve just alienated a friend who was trying to help me.

  “Saudia, wait,” I call, but it’s too late.

  I can already hear her footsteps going down the stairs.

  I lie alone, staring at the ceiling, drowning in a sea of self-pity. Why did I have to go and get mixed up with Kane?

  Ten minutes later, I hear footsteps approaching my room again. I’ve already upset Saudia and the last thing I need is to piss someone else off.

  When the quiet knock comes, I ignore it, hoping whoever it is will go away. They don’t.

  The door opens and I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

  “I brought you some soup,” Saudia says quietly.

  My eyes fly open. I wasn’t expecting it to be her. I don’t have the energy for another fight.

  “Thanks. Just leave it there,” I mutter, pointing to an empty spot on my dresser.

  “So it can get cold?” Saudia says with a smile.

  I shrug. I don’t care what happens to it.

  “You should try and eat something,” Saudia says. “It won’t make you feel any better, but at least you won’t be hungry.”

  I smile despite myself at her honesty.

  “Saudia, I’m sorry,” I say. “You were right. Tracey isn’t Kane. Maybe she really has changed.”

  Saudia sits down beside my bed again. She snorts out a bitter laugh.

  “Nah, you were probably right. I’m on the path to getting my heart broken again, but I just can’t make myself stay away, you know.”

  I nod. I do know. Everyone warned me about Kane. Hell, even he tried. But I couldn’t stay away.

  Saudia shifts uncomfortably in her seat. She nods out of the window, looking towards the tree she and Tracey were sitting beneath when I saw them.

  “That tree was always our favorite spot in the garden. It just felt right to go there with her now, you know? I forgot you would be able to see us.”

  Her voice sounds far away, dreamy almost. She blinks and looks at me as though she’d almost forgotten I was there. Her voice sounds normal again as she continues.

  “Atlas, I know you have a lot going on right now, and I feel awful asking this of you, but can you keep this to yourself? We’re just not ready for all the judgement from the team. Please.”

  I nod.

  “Of course,” I say.

  I honestly don’t care one way or another what Saudia and Tracey do or don’t do, and it’s not my place to tell the others. And after the way I treated her earlier, I owe her one.

  “Thank you,” she says, relieved.

  We fall into an awkward silence. When I can’t bear it any longer, I speak up.

  “So that tree must have some stories to tell huh?”

  “Oh hell yeah.” Saudia laughs.

  And just like that, she’s done it. I laugh too. Saudia has managed to do something I thought no one could. She made me feel something other than numb.

  She tells me a story of the time she and Tracey were making out and things got a bit heated and Mason almost caught them both in what she calls a compromising position. I’m confused as to why she looks so sheepish until she tells me they were on his bed. My eyes open wide at her revelations, and she laughs again.

  It’s not until she stands up to leave and picks the tray back up that I realize the soup bowl is empty. I ate the soup without even noticing while we were talking.

  “Saudia?” I say as she opens the door and steps out.

  She pokes her head back in.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  She grins. “Anytime. I make damn good soup, girl.”

  That’s not what I meant, and she knows it.

  After a while I drag myself out of bed and go use the bathroom.

  Langston takes that as her cue to appear, and as I open the door to go back to my room, I find her standing on the other side of it.

  “Back in,” she demands.

  “Huh?” I say, confused.

  “Back in,” she repeats. “It’s time for a shower.”

  “I… ” I start.

  Langston ignores my protests and ushers me back into the room. She switches on the shower and lets it run on her hand. She fiddles with the temperature dial and stands back with a nod.

  “In you go,” she says in a no-nonsense voice.

  I decide it would be too hard to argue with her, so I strip off my dirty clothes. Normally, I would be hugely self-conscious stripping in front of someone who’s as perfect as Langston, but today, I don’t care. I step into the shower and let the hot water pelt me.

  Langston stands outside of the shower, eyeing me critically. She rummages around and she hands me a bottle.

  “Shampoo,” she laughs when I peer at, uncomprehending.

  I nod and squirt some into my hand. I rub it into my hair, and I have to admit, it feels good to rid myself of the greasiness that coats my hair. As I finish rinsing it off, she’s ready and I’m handed the conditioner. When I think I’m done, I reach for the off button, but Langston shakes her head.

  “I don’t think so,” she says.

  And I’m handed a razor. I sigh and shake my head, but I take it.

  It isn’t long before I’m back in my room, clean, shaven, and wrapped in a fluffy white robe. Langston sits me in front of my dresser and begins to pull a comb through my hair.

  “Your hair really is gorgeous,” she comments as she works out the few knots that are in it.

  I wince at a particularly tough one.

  “Sorry,” she says.

  She digs out my hair dryer and a curling iron and begins covering her hands in the various lotions that sit on my dresser. They aren’t mine. She must have brought them in while I was using the bathroom
.

  As she tugs and pulls my hair into some sort of twist, she catches my eye in the mirror.

  “We never really got a chance to talk. About your mom. About… well, you know. I just don’t want things to be weird between us, but how can they not be?”

  I can’t do this now, but she’s been so nice to me, and she looks so upset.

  “Langston, I know it wasn’t your fault,” I say. “You were under a spell. Quinn’s spell.”

  Langston nods.

  “I know, but it was still me that did it at the end of the day.”

  It wasn’t, but I don’t know how to make her see that, so I settle for another tactic. I reach up and touch her arm as she tugs at my hair, avoiding looking at me. She forces her eyes to meet mine again.

  “I forgive you,” I tell her simply.

  Her face floods with relief.

  “Thank you,” she whispers.

  She goes back to concentrating on my hair. She’s already spent longer on it than I have in months.

  “So, Quinn and I are hardly best friends, as you can imagine,” she says suddenly. “But she told me she’d do anything to get me to forgive her. I don’t know if I can. I told her that, but I do need something from her. Something she never would have given me, but now she will.”

  “What is it?” I ask.

  She looks down, her face turning slightly pink.

  “I can’t say yet in case it doesn’t work out. Let’s just say we’re putting our heads together for a while and we’re working on a potion.”

  I’m intrigued, but it’s obvious she doesn’t want to say anything yet and I know what it’s like to have people pry into your business when you’re not ready to talk about it.

  “Just be careful,” I warn her.

  She nods in agreement, then gives me a big smile.

  “What do you think?” she asks, nodding towards the mirror.

  I have to admit she’s done a great job on my normally stick-straight hair. It frames my face in big, bouncy curls, the kind you normally see on hair product advertisements.

  “I love it. Thanks.” I smile.

  “Nails and makeup?” she asks.

  I shake my head.

  “I appreciate what you’ve done. Really, I do, but I’m just not up to the whole salon treatment today. Maybe another time.”

  She seems to understand, and she nods.

  There’s a knock at my door.

  “Come in,” I call.

  Perry appears in the room.

  “Just wanted to make sure you two were both decent.” He grins. “You’ve been up here together a long time, and you never know.”

  Langston punches him playfully on the shoulder.

  “Perv,” she tells him.

  He pretends to look offended, then he laughs.

  “I was going to come sooner, Atlas, but the smell coming from under the door turned me away. I thought now Langston’s cleaned you up, it might be safe to enter.”

  I can’t help but laugh.

  “Yeah thanks for that,” I tell him.

  “Oh anytime.” He grins. “Now that Langston’s found herself a new Barbie doll to play with, you’ll always smell fresh.”

  Langston hits him again.

  “Don’t be a dick,” she says.

  “Just calling it like I see it,” he shoots back.

  He turns to me.

  “So how do you feel? Has your IQ started to drop yet?”

  “Only since you came in.” I laugh.

  “I’m hurt.” He grins.

  He turns to Langston.

  “Oh by the way, Quinn wants you. What’s with you two being all buddy-buddy all of a sudden?”

  Langston shoots me a look.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she says to Perry.

  More secrets. It seems the team isn’t as close as they pretend to be.

  “Oh, just admit it. You’re trying to find a way to make her ugly,” Perry says.

  Langston heads for the door with a laugh.

  “Nah, being ugly is your thing,” she calls over her shoulder as she leaves.

  “Well isn’t she just a darling,” Perry says, turning back to me.

  I laugh and suddenly it hits me. My father is dead and I’m laughing and joking like everything’s okay. How awful a person does that make me? I feel the laugh stick in my throat, turning to tears, and I choke them back.

  “Hey, none of that,” Perry says, looking concerned. “I don’t do tea and sympathy. I’m more your guy when you need a witty comeback or a sarcastic takedown.”

  I force myself to smile again.

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

  He sits on the end of my bed, serious suddenly, and I twist the chair around to face him.

  “Atlas, it’s okay to be happy. To laugh. To smile. You still have to live your life.”

  He looks at the floor.

  “I didn’t know your father, but from what I’ve heard, he maybe wasn’t all that great. But he would want you to be happy.”

  “Yeah. He would,” I agree.

  As long as I didn’t need his money or his time, he’d want me to be happy. And it’s far too late for me to get either.

  “Well, that’s all I’ve got,” Perry says, getting back to his feet. “Unless I can interest you in a random insult?”

  I smile again. “Nah. I’m good.”

  Perry gets to the door.

  “By the way, your boob is out,” he says as he leaves.

  I gasp and look down. I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up inside of me when I see my robe is still firmly closed.

  “Bastard,” I shout good-naturedly after him.

  The laughter doesn’t stick around long, and I realize something. Remy was right. I don’t want to be alone right now. I’m considering going downstairs when I hear a light knock on my door.

  “Come in,” I say.

  I marvel at how the team seems to be able to almost read my mind as Regal walks in.

  “Hey,” he says. “I thought you might be up for some company.”

  I nod.

  “Actually, I am,” I say.

  “Good,” he says, walking over to the TV.

  He fiddles around for a moment then comes to sit beside me on the bed.

  “The game is starting in a second and I thought we’d watch it together.”

  I don’t have the heart to tell him I hate football. I’m just grateful he’s here.

  I look at him, shocked as the voice over on the TV tells us to stay tuned because Dirty Dancing is coming up next.

  “I thought you said we were watching the game,” I say.

  He laughs.

  “You really believed that? You hate football.”

  “And Dirty Dancing… ”

  “Is your favorite movie of all time,” he finishes for me.

  “How did you know?” I ask.

  “Magic.” He grins, waving his hands in front of his face.

  I don’t know if he’s serious or not, and suddenly, I don’t care how he knew. I only care that he did.

  He lifts his arm up and I rest my head on his chest, snuggling against him.

  For the first time since my father died, I feel warm and safe and like maybe everything will be okay after all. The movie has barely started when my eyes slip shut and I fall into the first sound sleep since I got home.

  Almost a week has passed since my father’s death. I’ve avoided watching any TV or reading any newspapers, as I’m sure it will be all over the news. A murder with no suspects.

  The team has all been in and out of my room. Saudia continues to feed me and Langston continues to groom me. I’ve even let her do my nails. It’s nice to have their company, and for the time they’re with me, I feel human again and I can almost convince myself everything will be okay.

  Quinn has made another appearance, and I can feel myself starting to thaw slightly towards her. The past is the past, and I tell myself she’s helping Langston and whatever it is they’re doing
seems to be making Langston happy. Perry has been by a couple of times, and each time, he gets me laughing, no matter how much I tell myself it’s wrong to laugh.

  Regal stopped by, just to see if I needed anything while he was out. I didn’t.

  Everyone has slowed down their visits. I’m good with that. I’m not the center of the universe, and I know they have other things going on.

  Lately I’ve been curious about the twins. Remy has been slipping out of the house late at night. The first time, I almost told Saudia I saw her. But I told myself it was none of my business. Wherever she’s going might be personal, and it’s not like she can’t handle herself.

  She’s snuck out in the middle of the night every night since I asked her to help Kane. Regal has followed her. I’m intrigued to know what’s going on, but no one has brought it up and I don’t want to ask in case none of them know about it.

  As if my thoughts have called him, there’s a gentle knock on my door and Regal appears when I shout come in.

  “Is now a good time?” he asks.

  “Sure,” I say.

  “Man, you look like hell,” I point out as he sits down beside me on the bed.

  “Good to see you too.” He smiles.

  I laugh. “Sorry,” I say. “But seriously. You do.”

  He shrugs. “It’s something and nothing. Quinn is doing something with Langston. Something I’m sure will end in a mess, but she keeps telling me I’m paranoid and that she has everything under control.”

  “Quinn is always in control. Relax. Trust her.”

  “Yeah, I guess,” he agrees.

  He shifts uncomfortably on the bed.

  “That’s not it, is it?” I say.

  He shrugs again.

  “Not really, but I didn’t come here to dump my problems on you.”

  I ignore him. “It’s Remy, isn’t it? And where she’s sneaking off to late at night.”

  “How do you know about that?” he asks.

  “I haven’t been sleeping too well. I saw.”

  In fact, the last night I got any sleep was the night Regal came in to watch a movie with me. When I woke up, it was the next morning and I felt better than I had in ages. I was actually a little sad to see that Regal had snuck away sometime during the night.

  “She took this whole thing hard. It’s brought back a lot of pain for her about our parents’ deaths.”